Tuesday, September 28, 2010

the wiggle worm (or, how to say 'no' 37 times in 10 seconds)

i don't know when exactly this happened, but my nearly 10 month old daughter can now physically overpower me. i know i am not the most athletic of specimens, but i would have thought i could outmuscle a baby. yeah, well...

first off, she head butts like she's the effin' junk yard dog. one second she's sitting nicely in your lap, then *wigglewiggleconk!!* she has almost broken mine and kathy's nose. it has gotten to the point that i flinch when she moves at all.

she also moves around very easily as well, which makes diaper changing and loading into the car seat a challenge. it used to be easy when she couldn't flip onto her belly, now she twists and turns like a frickin' gymnast. the only chance you have to get the diaper on and her pants back in place is whatever the closest distraction you can find. otherwise, she does her best mary lou retton impersonation and you are left with a baby on her belly, a diaper half attached to her ass, and a knotted pair of pants in your hand. when you finally get one leg in, she kicks out of that leg just as you've struggled to get the other leg in. (repeat this process about 4 times) then there is the onesie. there is nothing more deflating than finally getting her pants on and then realizing you forgot to button up the damn onesie. now you are hoping you can lower the pants down just enough that she can't kick a leg off before you can snap the effin' thing under her butt.

wanna go for a drive? hope you got an extra 15 minutes so that you can tire her out enough to strap her into the carseat. she will twist, turn, stand up, stretch out, wiggle, flail, and kick until you manage to get her finally buckled in. and the strength and speed with which she does this would make houdini jealous. every now and then she will cooperate, but some days there are so many limbs flailing that you'd think you were trying to strap in a greased up epileptic squid.

so yes, she's gotten to the point that i've seen a lot of kids go through, what i call the 'wiggle worm' stage. i know she can do things that i would get a hernia if i were to try, but at least i know i can beat her at arm wrestling. i'm pretty sure anyway.


  1. I haven't made it to the wiggle worm stage, but I can commnet on what I know so far.

    How about infant iron fists? They have a kung-fu knuckles that would make even the best black-belt blush. And unless you can muster up your inner ninja there is no way you're getting that hand open.

  2. yes, i am familiar with the baby kung fu death grip. so is my hair, my nipple, my glasses, and my bottom lip...

  3. As an expecting Momma, l thank you for all the 411 info on babies ;-).